Art

There is something so peaceful about art, it has a way of cleaning up a persons mind and bringing in clairty. I believe in the simplicty of creation and will forever support it.

Hope

God brings hope into our lives at strange times in strange ways. Sometimes it isn't even hope for yourself, it's hope for other people. I believe in change, I don't believe a person can change at the hand of someone else. However, I do believe that a person can change at their own hand. People think I'm crazy for thinking this, so when someone supports this belief it gives me hope.

Distance

It seems that the longer you're gone, the more flawed you become. It could possibly be that now you aren't around to distract me from the facts. All the things you've done that are shady and rude are finally pushing their way to the surface. Some of them are just to bold to ignore any more. You keep telling me to "stop being gay" well first and foremost, maybe you should have stopped treating me like shit a long time ago. I've decided to reduce your relationship status to my friend, so welcome to my friend world. Douche. I do have to say thank you, because thanks to you I know all the things to run away from in a relationship.

Thankful

Sometimes the best friends are the ones that pop in and out, but always stay true to you. Loyalty and love, unconditional and honest. I find refuge in the spontaneous showings of a real friend.

A Necessary Reminder.

There is something to be said about shop therapy, sometimes all you need is a new shirt or a pair of jeans. Something that you put on and fell beautiful in, just perfect. It's not because we have low self esteem, no no no it's simply because sometimes we all need a reminder that we are all beautiful. With a confidence booster, right now I'm ready to tackle the things I've been avoiding. Not to mention I'll be doing it all in style.

Verbal Assault

As odd as it sounds, I've found that people tend to want to speak to me. This is a good thing, a quality I love having. However, the down fall to this is it always seems like the people I don't want to speak to are the ones who want to speak to me the most. I just don't know what it is about that is so desirable to the people I'm usually avoiding. It's verbal assault. I don't want them to talk to me, but they do. It isn't literally assault by any means I'm using this term very lightly, but it still applies.

Programing

My internal programing is what most would refer to as not normal. I seek to rebel, love to love and prefer to be surrounded or indulged in dysfunction. Just recently i decided that I'm going to stop settling for the love I think I deserve and set my sights on the love I actually do deserve. I'm not searching for someone, I'm praying for someone who's searching for me. Instead of being the one doing all the work, I want someone to meet me halfway. Sorta like I don't know a real relationship. Needless to say, I'm doing my best to rewire my internal programing and start settling for not better, but best.

The Benefits

Society leads us to believe that alcohol has it's benefits, I'm here to tell you it doesn't. Beyond the false confidence it provides people with for a few short  hours, it's all wiped away the next day when all that confidence is replaced by regret. If you're aren't capable of finding a happy medium then you are destine for failure. Either you spend your evening wiping up vomit for a friend or spend the evening having your vomit wiped up by a friend. Fortunately for some of us, we get to escape the chaos. I have to say I've never been more thankful for a curfew then on nights like those.

Fresh Out Of Love

And so it goes, we are forever changing. Wether it be the people who surround us, the places, the conditions; everything will always be changing. College. Not for me, for him. With a count down started 103 days till he comes back home. I'm not sure what will happen in the coming months, I can't promise anything. The only things I'm certain of is change, and how much of it there will be.